YOU CAN DO THINGS AT THE SHASIDE (That You Can't: Do In Town) by Charles Ridgewell (d. 191.6) and George A. Stevens (d. 1953)

1. Have you ever noticed when you're by the sea
The things that you can do there with impunity?
If you did the same things when you're up in town
Moral Mrs Gruncly on her face would wear a frown,
Father, mother, all the family
Travel down to have a little paddle in the sea
Mother takes her stockings off upon the sandy shore
And shows a. lot. of linen that she'd never shown before.

You can do a lot of things at the seaside
That you can't do in town.
Fancy seeing mother with her legs all bare
Paddling in the fountain,in Trafalgar Square,
Bobbing up and down in the water
T'would make the police men frown.
You can do a lot of things at the sea side
That you can't do in town

2. Watch them at the seaside there upon the sands,
Percy and his sweetheart hold each other's hands,
All among l-he crowd there they will sit and spoon Like a pair of turtle-doves up on a honey moon,
There they loll beside the briny blue, Cuddled up together till you can't tell who is who.
Canood.le.ing and kissing with a crowd of people there,
No one seems to notice them, and no one seems to care.
You can do a lot of things at the seaside Thai', you can't do in town.